In Love With A Married Man

If you're unfortunate enough to fall in love with a married man, turn and run the other way, just a fast as your legs can carry you. To continue down the path ahead is to walk willingly onto a dark, murky composed of little more than depression, heartbreak and futility. The longer you hesitate, the deeper you'll sink, the more mud is likely to cling to you, and the harder it will be to finally escape and move on.

Here are only a few of the many challenges and disadvantages you'll experience if you become entangled in a relationship taken a solemn vow to love, honor and cherish another woman.

* You'll be alone on vacations, major holidays and most weekends. These are family times. You may think you're important to him, but face it, you're not family. They have a prior claim on his time and his loyalty. You'll always be No. 2 and that's not fun!

* He may promise to be with you when the children are grown, or when his parents have passed on, or when his wife is strong enough to stand alone but after all, he's a cheater and he's already lying to one woman. How can you possibly believe his promises?

* Yoyr friends and family will be against this relationship, because they love you and want only the best for you. You will not be able to discuss matters with them, and they certainly won't be welcoming him into their inner circle.

* When you're out on town, he'll frequently look over his shoulder, not wanting to be seen in your company. When you're alone together, he'll often check his watch, needing to be home before his wife gets suspicious, He'll never be able to relax completely. Hence, neither will you.

* What about those office parties, family birthdays, wedding, even funerals? You'll be attending these functions alone, with no visible partner to support you or keep you company. You'll be an objct of pity and many will wonder what's wrong with you, and why you can't find a boyfriend.

* Life is short and youth is fleeting. You are wasting valuable time when you should be laying a firm foundation for a bright future with someone you can trust. Wake up and smell the coffee. You deserve so much better than this two-timer.

* To him, it's a fling, an enjoyable interlude in a marriage which is comfortable, but may have become routine. Stolen moments with you provide elements of thrill and danger to an otherwise humdrum existence.

* Even if he says he's ready to leave home and set up household with you, consider this: If wife No. 1 couldn't trust him, why would you think wife No. 2 would be able to? You'll be taking on someone else's heartaches. Seriously now, who needs it?

* Most serious of all, if there are children involved, think of them. He may not be much, but he's their dad. Are you willing to be responsible for breaking up their family? If they're old enough to remember that he left their mother because of you, it will be difficult to become an effective stepparent.

* These are only a few of the problems you'll encounter, if you allow yourself to fall in love with a married man. Use your willpower and your common sense and walk in the opposite direction as quickly as you can. As the old adage states, "There's plenty of fish in the sea". Why waste your valuable time, attention and talent on a stale, second-hand junk variety, who was hooked by someone else years ago?

You deserve a much better future than he can offer you. Leave the swamp, move out into the sunshine and go after it.

-Lai