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Friday, July 25, 2008

In Love With A Married Man

If you're unfortunate enough to fall in love with a married man, turn and run the other way, just a fast as your legs can carry you. To continue down the path ahead is to walk willingly onto a dark, murky composed of little more than depression, heartbreak and futility. The longer you hesitate, the deeper you'll sink, the more mud is likely to cling to you, and the harder it will be to finally escape and move on.

Here are only a few of the many challenges and disadvantages you'll experience if you become entangled in a relationship taken a solemn vow to love, honor and cherish another woman.

* You'll be alone on vacations, major holidays and most weekends. These are family times. You may think you're important to him, but face it, you're not family. They have a prior claim on his time and his loyalty. You'll always be No. 2 and that's not fun!

* He may promise to be with you when the children are grown, or when his parents have passed on, or when his wife is strong enough to stand alone but after all, he's a cheater and he's already lying to one woman. How can you possibly believe his promises?

* Yoyr friends and family will be against this relationship, because they love you and want only the best for you. You will not be able to discuss matters with them, and they certainly won't be welcoming him into their inner circle.

* When you're out on town, he'll frequently look over his shoulder, not wanting to be seen in your company. When you're alone together, he'll often check his watch, needing to be home before his wife gets suspicious, He'll never be able to relax completely. Hence, neither will you.

* What about those office parties, family birthdays, wedding, even funerals? You'll be attending these functions alone, with no visible partner to support you or keep you company. You'll be an objct of pity and many will wonder what's wrong with you, and why you can't find a boyfriend.

* Life is short and youth is fleeting. You are wasting valuable time when you should be laying a firm foundation for a bright future with someone you can trust. Wake up and smell the coffee. You deserve so much better than this two-timer.

* To him, it's a fling, an enjoyable interlude in a marriage which is comfortable, but may have become routine. Stolen moments with you provide elements of thrill and danger to an otherwise humdrum existence.

* Even if he says he's ready to leave home and set up household with you, consider this: If wife No. 1 couldn't trust him, why would you think wife No. 2 would be able to? You'll be taking on someone else's heartaches. Seriously now, who needs it?

* Most serious of all, if there are children involved, think of them. He may not be much, but he's their dad. Are you willing to be responsible for breaking up their family? If they're old enough to remember that he left their mother because of you, it will be difficult to become an effective stepparent.

* These are only a few of the problems you'll encounter, if you allow yourself to fall in love with a married man. Use your willpower and your common sense and walk in the opposite direction as quickly as you can. As the old adage states, "There's plenty of fish in the sea". Why waste your valuable time, attention and talent on a stale, second-hand junk variety, who was hooked by someone else years ago?

You deserve a much better future than he can offer you. Leave the swamp, move out into the sunshine and go after it.

-Lai

49 comments:

BunnyJean said...

I was in love with a mm for approximaately 9 yrs. There was a time in that 9 yrs when we had no contact. My ex-husband was dying of cancer, and I went back to care for him until his death. After his death, the mm and I resumed our relationship.

About 1 yr ago he moved out of the house, and we had been discussing marriage during that time. For a period of time I was living in another state. We continued the relationship and every couple of months we would drive, or fly to a location to meet. He then spent quite a bit of money to move me back to the town in which he lives. Within 48 hours on my return to town, he then informed me that this relationship will not work. For the past 3 months I have endured great heartbreak. His reason for this breakup is that he needs to get right with God. His attitude now is "sorry", but this is not my problem. I no longer hear from him, nor does he return my calls. For every woman who thinks that wasting those valuable years will get you the man "of your dream" may I encourage you to wake up and smell the coffee.

Believe it or not, this man has decided to return home to his "wonderful wife." This is the same wife that he told me had repeatedly rejected him and refused him marital relationship. Not only was I aware of their problem, but many people in the community were aware. Now all of a sudden she is wonderful, and I am the intruder. I am realizing that I was living a rose colored existence, wasting time and opportunities.

Please ladies wake up to the truth. 90+% of mm who have outside relationships (irrespective of how long the relationship) do not leave their marriages. In the end you are used and damaged goods; having to spend much time in recovery from something that has hurt you deeply.

gnihc_ said...

i havent had any boyfriend since then , but when its time for me to feel love and be loved..it was on a wrong situation! i feel in love with a married man.....


it feels good to be love, but i dont like the fact that i will be the culprit of a broken marriage.
i know what is right and i know what is wrong... eventhough it hurts, i have to stop this crazy thing in me.


you are right- there are a lot of fishes in the sea.. so why waste my time to a taken man??


so i will not look for love, i will let love find me ...

piscean girl said...

i've been separated & single for 2 years & have very recently met a lovely man, & you said it....married too...he has been open with this from the very start & we both agree that we are both happy being very good friends...but i know myself & i know that if i keep seeing him, talking to him i will most likely end up falling for him...in fact i'm probably starting too...another thing is if this keeps carryin on, somehow i think the fine line dividing friendship & a more intimate relationship becomes blurred along the way...yes my brain tells me to walk away...but my heart still tells me to stay on...decisions decisions...whichever road i take will not be easy....

Lizzie said...

@piscean girl. I'm facing same situation as yours. He is being open to me from the very beginning that he's married with 2 kids. We communicated with each other via phone call for sake of friendship but I've started to feel more after 2 months even though I know he's married & this relationship will not go anywhere. However, last month he wanted both of us not to contact each other frequently anymore. Reason was he wanted to let me have the life that I deserve & not holding on to him. He said that if we're kept continuing to contact each other frequently, both of us will fall down into this dark hole..I guess he just wanna tell me to leave him alone in a nicest way possible.

7forasecret said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
7forasecret said...

I am very much in love with a married man. And although I occasionally feel sad and lonely, that is far outweighed by the joy his presence in my life brings.
I am in the midst of a divorce myself. We both have children and understand, without the shadow of a doubt, that the welfare of the children comes first. No matter what. Which means if his wife has a family outing planned, then so be it. I cannot and will not question it. Nor will he.
It is part and parcel of being involved with someone who's tied up elsewhere.
We have never made any promises to one another with the exception of this one: When the time comes that this has to end, it will undoubtedly be with tears, sorrow, anger... but absolutely NO REGRETS. Love is a wonderful gift. And I would never, ever trade the love I have and receive for anything.
Being a mistress can be hard. But the reality is you are a MISTRESS... there IS no commitment. Once you understand and accept that, the rest falls into place. You don't need commitment to fall in love. And you certainly don't need anyone promising you anything to fall in love. Love happens. And it's good as long as you BOTH understand and acknowledge the rules by which you will be playing.
Will one or both of us get hurt when this is over? Of course. But him being married has nothing to do with that. It would hurt if/when it ended anyway. And him being married doesn't mean it HAS to end. It will end when the gods say it will.
I just feel blessed to have love in my life, in all its beautiful forms.

irazna said...

this blog is so awakening. thank you. uhm.. well i think im falling in love with a married man (not confirmed yet or maybe i just dont want to admit it!) ;(.. hes an office mate and he's about 10 years older than me..dont have bf since birth & i never expected such a feeling like this. its just too strong and tempting and its taking my senses away..i really dont know wat to do now.. im trying really really hard to divert my attention. im starting to get scared now. ;(

mcwen said...

I was in love with this man in how many years. He's my first boyfriend he leave the country and we miss our communication after 9 years with no breaking ups we meet each other and as what i feel he's my man.. But in other side he's married and had a cute son.How sad i was when We talked ofcouse i get mad at him but i realized that hes not my destiny.. But what can i do as times pass by we've been together happy and contented with our presence..I know this was wrong but he promise me and said he is willing to give up his wife and son just for me.. What will i do? Im still love him but he's a married man.. :(

erosmich said...

i'm in love with a married man and he's my co-worker,..we went out every night just to take a few hours together....he's wife knew that we had an affair..but we can't help it...i love him so much and i know he did too..but the thing is i have a boyfriend and i'm afraid that he will know about my affair with the other guy...especially to a married man...i'm so confused...hope i can handle this...

rhyz_121 said...

i fell in love with a marrieed man.at first it's wonderful! it's a love that nobody can explain. Everything is perfect except for the fact that he's a married man! when we are together we didn't think of the people we are hurting. SELFISH you may call it! but the feelings that we had for each other, we don't mind who we gonna hurt because we thought we are happy! they got separated! but still we know we cant be together, there can never be US even they are now separated! things will stay the same! i am still a mistress! and forever will be the second! i got pregnant! now, i am alone with my child! he's not there to fight for us, not the same man i thought he will be for us! Promises! and i am a fool to believe that he can be the i thought he was! got from the word Mistress - my life now is a mess! except for the part that he left me- my child! love will make you go wild!

Liza@Loy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ash said...

Great post. I am seeing my ex-boyfriend (High School Sweetheart) we dated in high school and for 2 years after so a total of 5 years. We broke up because he cheated on me with his now wife. We didn't see each other for about a year and a half then we ran into each other and I gave him my new phone number he called the next day wanting to catch up. We went to a park and talked for hours I knew right then that I still loved him. I told myself to run right then and there but for some reason my heart wouldn't let me so I stayed. Here I am 7 months later and still seeing him. At the beginning I told myself to hold on tight to my heart but like I said before I loved him still so he already had it. My friends told me they will support me whatever I do which most of them have. One of them tells me she will support my choice, but she does not hide how much she hates him. She says he has destroyed me, that the old me isn't here anymore. She hates that he is using my weakness against me. She tells me this and I know she is right, I have lost myself somewhere in these 7 months. But every time I tell myself that this is to much for both him and I, I can't leave. So for now I am going to enjoy being with him and when it ends I know we both will be hurt, but it is an unavoidable things.

classy said...

Wow this has been an eye opener....I have been seeing a married man for 8 months now, he was open and honest about his relationship and at first I was hesitant and told him I could not do this, I did not want to be part of such a sin. Well guess what I fell in love with him, he is so sweet,caring and I thought honest but after reading this it puts me to think..well to make a long story short, today he brought me home from work as he does everyday since I met him, he always tells me whats going on in his life and I do same, well he proceeds to say that his son is coming for a visit and he has plans to be out and about with the family and he will let me know when just in case we bump into each other (this is something I have asked him to do)..well for some reason this has hit me hard, maybe cause the holidays are near and just the thought makes me sick, I just can't believe he would lie to me about the relationship he and his wife has I mean he is always telling me he wants to leave but is afraid she won't make it on her own, his kids are grown adults but he worries about her...ughh I feel like such an idiot now,but still don't know what to do cause I truly love him and I feel he does too.

3be95010-3053-11e1-9834-000bcdca4d7a said...

Im 19 years old and I have been in love with the same man for 4 yrs. He was my first love. I never had the courage to tell him how I felt about him. He is my bffs next door neightbor and I am usually there all the time so we each other. Last summer he got married. When I found out I was heartbroken, devastated and depressed. For years he was and still is the only person I think of every morning when I wake up untill I go to sleep. Today I saw him for te first time in years and we talked for a while. It was the best feeling in the world. Our conversation got personal and he told me how he felt about me before he was married. He said he was in love with me and I was the only person hed ever think about. I finaly told him how I felt about him too. We slept together and he went home after words to ask his wife for a divorse. It turned out their marrage wasnt working. I went home so excited and the happiest I felt my whole life...Two hours later I get a call from him telling me that his wife is pregnant and he has to be with her for the sake of his unborn child...You can imagine the devistation im feeling now.</3 The sad part is that im still in love with him and now more than ever.

itgetsbetter said...

I see everyone says he was open and honest from the beginning but my married man lyed for nine months, he still hasn't fully admitted it, but I did an internet search and not only did I find he indeed was married but had a child outside of his 25 year marriage, and that he(MN) is ten years older than he told me he was. It is now almost two years, my heart And mind want to leave him alone, but its hard I'm alone my youngest is about to graduate and be out of the house. I have no friends I seldom see the family I have out here and I recognize he plays on my vulnerability but I.will take it one day at a time ....with prayer and the strength God gives me to love myself again Ill let him know what kinda slime he is......although I've recognized he isn't slime alone, I'm not a victim ..I took myself on flights of fantasy thinking I was better.....you reap. What you soe.

crazylady said...

Well I have fallen for a married man, never thought I would find myself in this situation in a million years! It's only been 3 months and it has all taken me by surprise. It's awful waiting for the calls/ text from him, constantly checking ur phone. Them days u don't get contact all sorts r going through ur head.. I wish in one sense he would not contact me any further and make it easier for me to walk away from it. I can't walk away from him, I have had 2 long term relationships of 8 years each and have always been loyal and faithful. This has turned my world upside down. No man has ever made me feel the way he does. So wish things where under different circumstances. I know it's wrong seeing a married man but i truly believe u can't help who u fall in love with. I really do not want his wife to find out cause I really do not want to hurt anyone. I would rather him leave because he wants to not just to be with me.. I don't want to end it with him cause of the way he make me feel, just the look off him, the feel of him when we r together, the chemistry blows my mind! I know I need too though, I just don't want too.. Met a really nice guy when out with friends, good job, single, good looking and sense of humour. He asked to take me out and I point blank refused. The thought of being with anyone else is unbarable! I will never meet anyone while this man is in my life and I will end up a very lonely person.. So knowing all this why does my brain not come b4 my feeling? Would like some advice from people it has worked out for as well as all the ones it hasn't... My head is totally mashed up! Thanks x

50e5a99a-4184-11e1-bbc4-000bcdcb471e said...

I met this MM when I was married myself. I ended my marriage, not for him, but for other reasons. I moved on my own and began to see him. I knew of his marriage and accepted it. I was able to keep my distance, always have that "first-date syndrome." Then I guess I fell in love with the fantasy. More and more the talks of him leaving his wife...wanting to be with me. Looking at houses/apartments, trying to find best solutions for all involved. Truth is---I KNOW I DON'T BELIEVE HIM! I just can't seem to leave. I have just had the conversation with him and asked the question, "Why don't you just call me when you leave?" "If we are meant to be together, then it will all work out when you are no longer married, right?" I just don't think I can do this anymore!!

simply me said...

I am one of those who were in love with a married man. I knew from the very first start that he was married for 6 years but no kids at all. I was separated with 2 kids. He accepted me for who I am. We go out together until we both fall in love. He keeps on telling lies to his wife. Every morning he find ways that we will see each other and drop me in my office since we work in different company. After he drop his wife he will then call me and ask my location and I have to wait for him, he wants that before he works he sees me. In going home he always fetch me and we go home late and his wife is always calling him and he told lots of lies, I really feel guilty about it cause I know whats the truth. Sometimes the wife will go home alone coz cant wait for me. Until one day he told me that on Feb and March 2012 they will have their vacation, I was hurt, but I know I don't have the right to stop him. Because of that I broke up with him but to cut the story short we didn't break up coz I cant let him go, and he doesn't want too. I know I don't own him coz he is taken already too but we made an agreement that we will not break up no matter what happen and one day he will be with me, what a promise. I really love this guy, he is always there with me, he never left me.... Really confused.......I want him but can't be.......

Crissy said...

I met this guy 2 years ago, and unfortunately he's married. and just like others, he has been honest from the start. well, they no longer sleep in the same room, he said he has no feelings anymore for his wife but he had to stay for the kids sake. i love him so much, he's the only guy who has loved me, and accepted me for who I am. he treated me like a princess, this is the first time i felt this kind of happiness. he is totally different from my ex bf who treated me shitty. i love him so much. we have the perfect love for each other but our situation is so complicated. I love him, and I can't live without him. I don't know, but I don't feel any guilt, all I know is that we're very happy and in love. the sad part is, im not sure until when we can be together, im not sure if he has plans for me, for US, but im living for the moment, im enjoying every second I have with him. its just amazing. and whatever happens, i'll not regret a thing, he's the best gift I've got, and I'll really treasure him. I'll leave everything to God.

cant let go said...

Love

cant let go said...

I found myself in love with a married man but first let me tell u the story. This is a guy whom I always just won't to make love with in high school but he was married in high school so I didn't put the effort to talk to him, so later on in the years after we both finish college I reached out to him on a cyber web and we began to inbox after that we change numbers ans so on, I will be at work and he will call me on my cell phone and we talk for a while, so this was going on for a while,after that we decided to have sex, he came to my house and than we made love, now if u can remember he was only a guy I won't to have sex with from just and sex only, so after that we talked and texted so it begin to died down so no contact with the two, I realize the sex was ok but he wasnt packing like I thought he would be, therefore 2 years pass by and he reach out to me on fb and we talked and we began to catch up on things, not one time did he tell me he had divorced his wife from high school untill he got deep this second go round, ok so I'm like ok maybe I can get with him now, so one day he ask me to come to him house not one time will I ever think a man will tell u to come over and he's living with another women so me not knowing I goes over he had all the light off etc the tv, so we began to kiss and make love, after her trun the lights on I see a picture of him and a lady I ask who is she he reply that's my wife, I said so u married he said yes just got married to her over the 2 years we fell off, ok so I'm
Lost for words now,then he said u didn't no I reply he'll no, after he walk me to my car and I'm thinking I then made love to a married man in his wife house, I felt like crap,so as the days goes by he text me daily talking about he love my sex and all and talking about he won't more so he ask me to come over again now mind me the wife at work so I go and we have sex again in there home, I think this happen about 3 times at the home so after we made love at m house and that's where we be now, I begin to place my feelings in this but he tells me don't but he always says he like my sex, as this story get deeper I talk with my x-coworker about this because I never done this before not knowing that the wife of the guy I'm in love with is her granddaughter husband lol,

cant let go said...

^so as we talk she said she will never tell so she keep that word she never said anything about it,so one day I'm over there and the wife comes to pick up her kids from the granddad with is the son of my x-coworker and the father to the wife so she pick up her kids after her day of worker there's me old lodging the baby girl who the daddy never told me about the new 7 mt old baby but I new he had a 2 year old by her but not this new baby so now his ass in trouble with me, so she talk to me not knowing I'm sleeping with her husband, I never won't to look n her face but I did we meet for the first time and maybe 2x after, so he and I still talk and text and still made love but now when I text he won't text back nor call so I feel left out and alone because I did what he said not to do put my all n it, I love him but I'm not in love so whatbu think oh it goes farther

florabloom said...

The first time I say him, i was in the junior department of Sunday School. He was one of the Sunday School teachers, barely 20 years old. I didn't fall in love with him then. I was too young to know about love. I just...admired him so much. I used to have a crush on him. Then he went to college and i didn't see him for a long time. I saw him again after five years and I guess that was the time I fell in love with him. He didn't even know me but I was so in love with him. I used to think if he knew me, he'd like me and maybe fall in love with me. Even our sun-signs matched. He's a Leo and I'm a Libra. I used to call him my Leo-Guy. And then he got married. I was so sad and jealous. And to this day I can't say "I love him, and I want him to be happy." Because I still love him and it hurt to think about him 'cause he's married now and he will never be mine.

Lisa Franklin said...

Ok so I have been reading all these posts and I decided to tell about my married man. When he made the first move I turned him down....we didn't see each other or contact one another until we saw each other a month later when I went with a friend to purchase a vehicle . He made it very clear that he was interested in me..told me that alot had changed and that he and his wife were probably going to seperate(now grant you I am not a fool to fall for the lines) we both were upfront about not wanting a relationship but now I have fallen in love with him but I won't let him know about my feelings for him. The other day we were talking and he kissed me more passionately than he ever has when he was getting ready to leave he said I love you...,that totally floored me and I didn't know how to react or what to say.....now I'm wondering if I should have said something. I don't believe for a minute that he wil ever leave his wife. So I am going to enjoy our times together and when the time comes that we breakup I know there will be sadness frustration and hurt but I will always have the memories..,,,

himandi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cottongirl said...

So, here’s my story.. At the first of the year, I moved 2 ½ hours away from my hometown. I took the months away to make a life in my new location. Me and some of the people I work with would go out and drink beer together after work. I had a sexual relationship twice with my coworker, but at the end of the day, we were just friends and there were no feelings. However my MM is his best friend. Of course, all the times I’ve spent drinking beer with my coworker and his friends, it has given me the opportunity to get to know my MM. I’ve known from the beginning he was married, but I wasn’t looking for anything, so it didn’t matter. One night, about 2 months ago, me and him went to grab a beer. I went home with him. We have been together ever since, spending every night together. We talk and text all day long. At night, when we get off work, we go hang out with his friends (my friends too), and I stay with him or he stays with me every night… here’s the catch. She’s not at home. She’s in jail, and will be for the next 20+ months. We’ve talked about the what’s, why’s, how’s, what next’s… I’m not ready to give him up, and he can’t help but always want me around. Crazy in love. He’s talked about leaving. We’ve fought about it, cried about it, laughed about it. I’ve given him my whole heart. He’s met my family and friends, and I’ve met his. When he works and I don’t, I go to work with him. The weekends is our time to be “us”. Everything is perfect, until he gets his daily phone calls and he has to walk out of the room to talk to her. It crushes me. But he’s getting better about it, and he knows how bad it hurts me. Not sure what the future holds, but I do know I’m going to fight for what I want and believe in.

cottongirl said...

So, here’s my story.. At the first of the year, I moved 2 ½ hours away from my hometown. I took the months away to make a life in my new location. Me and some of the people I work with would go out and drink beer together after work. I had a sexual relationship twice with my coworker, but at the end of the day, we were just friends and there were no feelings. However my MM is his best friend. Of course, all the times I’ve spent drinking beer with my coworker and his friends, it has given me the opportunity to get to know my MM. I’ve known from the beginning he was married, but I wasn’t looking for anything, so it didn’t matter. One night, about 2 months ago, me and him went to grab a beer. I went home with him. We have been together ever since, spending every night together. We talk and text all day long. At night, when we get off work, we go hang out with his friends (my friends too), and I stay with him or he stays with me every night… here’s the catch. She’s not at home. She’s in jail, and will be for the next 20+ months. We’ve talked about the what’s, why’s, how’s, what next’s… I’m not ready to give him up, and he can’t help but always want me around. Crazy in love. He’s talked about leaving. We’ve fought about it, cried about it, laughed about it. I’ve given him my whole heart. He’s met my family and friends, and I’ve met his. When he works and I don’t, I go to work with him. The weekends is our time to be “us”. Everything is perfect, until he gets his daily phone calls and he has to walk out of the room to talk to her. It crushes me. But he’s getting better about it, and he knows how bad it hurts me. Not sure what the future holds, but I do know I’m going to fight for what I want and believe in.

cottongirl said...

So, here’s my story.. At the first of the year, I moved 2 ½ hours away from my hometown. I took the months away to make a life in my new location. Me and some of the people I work with would go out and drink beer together after work. I had a sexual relationship twice with my coworker, but at the end of the day, we were just friends and there were no feelings. However my MM is his best friend. Of course, all the times I’ve spent drinking beer with my coworker and his friends, it has given me the opportunity to get to know my MM. I’ve known from the beginning he was married, but I wasn’t looking for anything, so it didn’t matter. One night, about 2 months ago, me and him went to grab a beer. I went home with him. We have been together ever since, spending every night together. We talk and text all day long. At night, when we get off work, we go hang out with his friends (my friends too), and I stay with him or he stays with me every night… here’s the catch. She’s not at home. She’s in jail, and will be for the next 20+ months. We’ve talked about the what’s, why’s, how’s, what next’s… I’m not ready to give him up, and he can’t help but always want me around. Crazy in love. He’s talked about leaving. We’ve fought about it, cried about it, laughed about it. I’ve given him my whole heart. He’s met my family and friends, and I’ve met his. When he works and I don’t, I go to work with him. The weekends is our time to be “us”. Everything is perfect, until he gets his daily phone calls and he has to walk out of the room to talk to her. It crushes me. But he’s getting better about it, and he knows how bad it hurts me. Not sure what the future holds, but I do know I’m going to fight for what I want and believe in.

Ham bone said...

I fell in love with a married man 2yrs ago..and in the beginnin i kept saying that he needs to work out what ever worth his wife...he kept telling me chill it aint like that...so no two yrs lster he is moved out and took me three some things...noe all if a sudden i get on his nerves and for the last few months i couldnt do anything right....

My heart hurts but its my fault i should have known better.... but you right i can't tell anybod they will look at me like im crazy..but i have learned a valuable ass lesson...from this...i took shit off if this man i wohld never take from anybody else....smh..i feel like a fool and now he is mad...i never knew he could make me feel so important and turn around and make me feel like shit

Sherlane Blyth Llamas said...

Been there and been that! Loving a MM causes you heartaches. Remember it's not fun of being the other woman.

Missdiva Wett said...

I hv this same situation...DNT WNNA LET GO..BUT NEED 2!!!!

latingirl said...

Me too :(

latingirl said...

That happened to me too,but after 3 weeks he said that he wants to leave home and try something new with me . also he said he is always thinking about how his life would be with me....I don't know what to think about what he told me. I'm very confuse!

latingirl said...

Good luck girl!

Antionette Mack said...

I fell in love with a married men for 3 years we did everything together I was his trophy he would take me around family, friends, etc...he would always tell me how much he loved me and if I would give him time he would give me the best 40 years of my life, and me with my dumb a** fell for it one night we went out and I sent him a text message letting him no that I made it home. his wife had his phone and the affair was exposed, i went from being the women he loved to a stalker, a booty call, a hoe and a women that goes around sleeping with different married men. I not hear to past judgement on any one the moral of my post is to inform and educate women on married men they will love you, give you a lavish lifestyle and when the shit hit the fan that married men will turn into the enemie that you never knew you had. I'm healing now I basically put my life on whole the pain I've endure i pray that no one every have too feel it I have lost my self esteem, my dignity and most importantly I have lost a good relationship with my 19 year old son.

not2worry said...

Last year my husband asked for a divorce. We had been married 38 years. My ex is now remarried. Im a nice looking 60 year old woman. I tried dating but never met anyone that I connected with. One day I decided to look up my first boyfriend from 45 years ago and I found him. Hes happily married for 30 years and lives in another state. Since finding each other, we text everyday and have now moved to phone calls. We've lit a spark in each other and its great to feel desired again. I enjoy being the other woman in his life. I dont want to get married again so he doesnt need to leave his wife. Even if we just meet once a year in person, I'll be happy. This is my idea of a perfect relationship at my age.I can have a family/grandkid life seperate from my love life. Its great and I still have my freedom.

Mark Kho said...

I am also in love with a mm. we are 29months. I don't know i never expected this. i am now so much in love with him.. he knows everything about me and he accepted me for who i am.. since i've met him my life was changed. he changed me to quit my vices, to focus in my studies and to become a better person. he said he love me thats why he's doing everything for me even if our situation is so difficult. i can say to myself that i am thankful to him and i never regretted that i'd loved him but it really hurts loving someone like him, every night/day i cried because im missing him so much.. i cant be with him in times that i need him the most. its really hard but i love him.. my family didnt care about me even friends, only him. i am scared to lose him. i dont want to lose him . i really dont know what to do. i am so so tired of waiting him every day..hoping that he could come to see me..

karren said...

People believe what they want to believe And hear what they want to hear. These guys never loved you. They are getting the best of both worlds. Article above is so true, if you think you are going down that road, try your best to get out of it. Pain is inevitable.... But time heals all wounds. Being miserable is a choice.

Erica Jenkins said...

Hi! I know you posted this quite a few years back, but reading this has really helped me. I find myself in exactly the same situation now. He's actually on a family weekend right now and reading this helped remind me of my place in it all and the fact that I couldn't help but fall for him. If you don't mind me asking, are you still with the man this comment was about?

Shavon Carroll said...

Hell I am also in a situation loving a married man. I often feel so many different emotions.....good and bad. I've been at this for almost 4 years now. I don't know how i've held on this long. Maybe it's all the promises I have been given, although i'm sure they aren't real. I often wish I had someone to talk to who's in my situation. Lots of times when i'm down, I just read different post to get insights on how folks feel. This keeps me moving forward and makes me feel pretty good at times.

eilasor said...
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SurferGirl365 said...

I am heeding your advice. I have been in a long distance relationship with a married man for 5 years now. It started as a hell of a fun time with phone sex and sex texting. I knew he was married from the beginning but I fooled myself into thinking I could handle "we're just friends". Now my heart is being ripped out.
His Lie: I'm a coward, I have to leave her.
His Truth: I have a mortgage and insurance for 3 cars.
My Lie: Seeing eachother once a year is enough for me.
My Truth:Dirty mistresses are taken out of the box every year for an airing out....IS THIS REALLY WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME? yes because I allowed it....ME.
I am so glad I found your page because now I know I am not alone and i do have the power to reboot my life. Thanks for the sage advice.

Unknown said...

Hi my name is Amanda ....I met a man who approached me about nine months ago ,he seemed to be perfect for me and my children .....as time went on about 4 months in I discovered he was married ....but I was already in love with him ....and my children where as well.....he spent almost every single day with us .....I asked him why he never told me he was taken and he said he didn't want me to judge him PR his situation before getting to know him.....and that he was getting a divorce ....so as months rolled on no divorce has happened ....they still reside together ....he tells me they sleep in different rooms and there is no intimacy....its hard to believe but with love comes trust right???....he never talks about her in a good way or bad ....every time I bring it up about him moving out or divorcing he tells me to let him handle it .....me and my kids love him dearly he's been here for us in many ways ....but inside I feel like I am dying ....I want him to be all mine but he doesn't understand how I feel knowing he goes home to her ....no matter how much time he spends with us it's not enough .....I know God does not condone this and its the hardest thing in the world ....I've tried to part from him but he won't go only thing left for me is to just leave state ....he says he loves me but he must love her too ....I wish I could turn back the hands of time to the day he first approached me because this pain I feel daily is unbelievable ....smh

Amanda Danielson said...

I'm currently experiencing this

Marlyn Montebon said...

Me too😭

Kaykay said...

Hey I'm currently in the same situation loving a married man sigh ... I jus write my whole story about how it happen and I accidentally deleted it Kmt I will write it again though 😊

Kaykay said...

Hey I'm Kaykay and I find myself loving a married man which I'm madly inlove with at this very moment . Anyways I met this nice guy online he was sweet and all so I decided to meet him in person I ask him a little about his self and he told me he have a princess which is 7 of age. Well I met him in the town but we didn't talk much because it was wen I bring my lil brother to the doctor so I went closer to him to hug him but he pulled away and said no not gonna lie I felt really bad when I reach home he text and said sorry about today he jus couldn't hug me because he felt like he was gonna cry because he's falling for me so I said ok at first I didn't thought I won't fall for him now I find myself madly inlove with him until one day we went out and when we were coming back in the bus he turn to me and said "Kay" I love u n I said I love u too then he said I shouldn't leave him no matter what even if were at a cross road to give up so I said I won't leave u no matter what .... So he always nagging me to post pics of us online and I aways said no because I hate when people know who am dating but he kept on asking and I told him I would never no matter what , but one day I thought about it and said that I would jus surprise him by doing it so I posted the cutest picture of us online then he have the nerves to text me and beg me to take it down n he will explain to me so I did am not gonna lie I felt bad when he ask me to take it down then he ask me if I remember about the night when he told me that I shouldn't give up no matter what when we reach at the cross road and I said yes I remembered then right there all my happiness went down the drain wen he told me that he was married in was so damn angry u guys must know how I felt Kmt πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’... I ask him why didn't he tell me and have me here thinking that we might have a future together and now he was there married cause am not a girl who dates married man . He said that he was waiting until I fall deep inlove with him cause he don't want me to leave him I was sad and depress I cried for days I was depress and feeling really down I jus can't forget about that and all the lies he told from the start ..... He promise to love me forever and he said that he will leave her and marry me he said that I'm his everything and that he loves me n want to spend the rest of his life with me n not her , anyways still with him after 5 months of pain I fight through this with him because we love each other I know it's wrong to love a married man but I can't leave him I don't think I can do without him by my side. He's not like those married man he spend all his time with me because he don't love with his wife none tall I go everywhere with him even to his work place he comes to my house but I can't go to his because him love with his mom so I can't cause he's married Kmt sometimes that piss me off anyways he met my mom and my dad and half of my family he's jus the nicest guy I've ever met he shows me everyday that he love me and only me ... But one thing promise is a comfort to a fool so when he promise me something I always say to him "we will see" so am patiently waiting to see if he's going to do everything that he said he will do . Our love matter most and there's nothing that can stop me from loving that married man . So that's basically it it suck to love a married man but this is the best 5 months of my life thanks you 😊

Penny Mbali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Penny Mbali said...



Am from south Africa…i saw this comment on positive blogs and i will love to tell every body how my status changes to negative, and am now a living witness of it and i think its a shame on me if i don’t share this lovely story with other people infected with this deadly virus…,HIV has been ongoing in my family… i lost both parents to HIV,. and it is so much pain I`ve not been able to get over.. as we all know medically there is no solution to it..and medication is very expensive. So someone introduced me to a native medical practitioner in Africa..i had a job there to execute so i took time to check out on him.i showed him all my tests and results.. i was already diagnosed with HIV and it was already taking its towel on me.. i had spent thousands of dollars so i decided to try him out…i was on his dosage for 3 weeks. although i didn’t believe in it, i was just trying it out of frustration… and after 2 weeks, i went for new tests… and you wont believe that 5 different doctors confirmed it that am negative..it was like a dream,,i never believe aids has cure..am now negative,,am a living witness..i don’t know how to thank this man… i just want to help others in any way i can..have joined many forums and have posted this testimonies and a lot of people has mail and called this man on phone and after 2 months they all confirmed negative..BBC news took it live and you-tube every.. hope he helps you out.. everybody saw it and its now out in papers and magazines that there’s native cure for HIV and all with the help of this man,,have tried my own parts and all left with you,,if you like take it or not..god knows have tried my best.about 97 people have been confirmed negative through me..and he has also help many in their marriage life, ex back and divorce problem, pregnancy and all,,,,they send mails to thanks me after they have been confirmed negative,,this man is real..don’t miss this chance,,hiv is a deadly virus,,get rid of it now.....
his mail (dr_twaha@dr.com) and web site is http://www.esangoshrine.webs.com